Watch Natalie paint. You deserve a break.
Enjoy my oil paintings that feature faith themes. Most of the art is easy to figure out how it fits into the faith category, others may need a little explanation or the story behind the painting.
See these come to life in 2 minutes (time lapse). Click and go!
If you watched the above video (a clip from this year’s Easter Show), you saw how emotional I was while singing the cover of “I Can Only Imagine”. I could barely choke out the new lyrics I added to reflect the dark times we live in. Why?
Why do we get emotional when singing, painting, or maybe even some of you got a little teary while viewing my art? Just seeing the image of Jesus may make us feel powerful emotions. For some, it’s intense anger and malice, for others it’s overwhelming love and forgiveness.
I’ve attended many kinds of churches in multiple states and multiple countries. When living in Ireland, my family attended a church in downtown Cork. They were excited to see Americans, as an American had recently returned home and they were now without any in their congregation. They were keen to show off their “light lunch”, which they started up as a new tradition after their American friend told them about potlucks after church. Well, something got very lost in translation!
Yes, Irish and Americans both speak English, but trust me, Cork English is very different and hard for the uninitiated to understand. Also, the use of language and story telling, our different backgrounds, and the way we turn a phrase can cause some confusion. However it happened, the event they called “light lunch” was the biggest church feast I’ve ever had!
They were interested in our response. Did the Americans think that they’d done it up well? I’m laughing just thinking about it. It was a buffet rivaling a casino’s all you can eat binge fest- nothing like the more modest potlucks with casseroles (or “hot dish” as the Minnesotans call it), baked goods, and a few sides. Not that I haven’t been to large potlucks in which people went all out, but the Irish really took it to a whole new level. I have no idea how they got such an impression about American church lunches, but it was quite the experience!
I bring this up as an example of how church is all about perception. What we think church is, what we think it should be, and what it really is can sometimes match up perfectly, but often does not. A church is run by imperfect people and attended by imperfect people, so it will never be perfect. The history and religious foundations may be misunderstood, altered by political powers, or lacking understanding. The music may be off key. The speakers might stumble. The sound system may malfunction. Worst of all, people may leave church feeling more alone than when they came in.
The social and political aspects of church sometimes distracts and suffocates us. Maybe all we really want is the shared hope of life after death and seeing our loved ones again, redemption, mercy, unconditional love, forgiveness, deliverance, peace (“it is well with my soul” even when troubled times come), and gathering with other human beings who also want these spiritual gifts; sharing our lives with other families, seeing babies grow up, couples marrying, and supporting those who grieve- a community based on a genuine desire for everyone to be blessed by God. But the reality of how a church operates can be a vastly different experience than the raw honest emotion and connection that we long for.
So do we want to go to church? Is it worth the risk of feeling angry by something said at the pulpit, or by interactions with the congregation? It is worth feeling lonely, misunderstood, and rejected? Is it worth getting up early, making ourselves presentable, and pushing ourselves socially?
These, and more, are the questions I ask myself every time we move to a new place and need to settle the church question. I also go through this when a church situation is dysfunctional for our family and we need to look at making a change.
We’ve made changes. We’ve taken breaks. And we’ve somehow managed to still want to go to church. There are times when the Holy Spirit is in that place, and the love between fellow humans- many times complete strangers- is very real and powerful.
We have our boundaries though, and 2020’s government control of churches was one of them. We were half the choir, but when they banned singing as a response to orders without scientific foundation, we decided that they banned us. We did not return. For me, a church must be about the people who attend. More so than the political and religious order, more so than the government, more so than history and tradition, the church must be about the people. Jesus never pushed the lepers away, He went to them. He never rejected the elderly or the children. I can’t imagine a scenario in which Jesus would have agreed with the order to ban singing.
And in the end, I will not attend a church that violates my individual sovereign beliefs. Because, what critics say is largely untrue. Many of us do not attended church as cult-like drones, but instead our personal faith is the deciding force wherever we are, including church. And because of this, church (in many cases) is real. It is a space where humans gather, where personalities sit alongside each other, and our differences are tamed only by our desire for love.
When the government goes after the churches, we can imagine it’s because our gathering together gives us power that they do not want us to have. That alone should be enough reason to want to go to church? Maybe so. As I sit here today I don’t feel ready to face a new church experience, but I’m open to changing my mind and heart. I still want the things that I go to church for.
Today was a highly stressful day. We still haven’t closed on the house and we are now running out of time for the moving pods, truck, cleaning service (required to close out lease), and all of the other parts of this process. I’ve worked on cleaning and loading the pod all day and am exhausted. I’m struggling not to worry. It is difficult.
Sheltering trees (the theme of my painting in the video above) are places we can go when we need rest. “A shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain” – Isaiah 4:2-6 When we are under a great deal of stress, may we spiritually retreat to a sheltering tree.
In this emotional space we can breathe and remind ourselves of how difficult times do not last forever, and how often we emerge from a crisis stronger. When we are at peace it is “well with my (our) soul” and it’s much easier to handle stressful situations. It doesn’t mean we don’t ever lose control of our emotions or let anxiety get the better of us, but we may pull ourselves together more quickly. A restful spirit is a good companion to a faithful spirit. Faith leads to hope, and hope makes all the difference.
Well, the rental market has spiked out of control! The cheapest rent for the number of bedrooms we need, expanded to a wide area that would require a long commute, is $400 more per MONTH than we are currently paying. That’s nearly $5,000 USD extra we’ll have to pay this year in rent!!! And that’s IF we get the cheapest rent we’ve so far found, and those have already all sold out- already rented! So it goes up from there. There’s a house that would cost us over $1,000 more per month, so, over 12 grand for the year. No, no, no, that will sink us!
The property management of this house says that rents and home sales have gone crazy. There’s nothing they can do to help us, except honor their contract with the home owner and send us the vacate notice (because she wants to sell and cash in, which is understandable, but it means we are once again the LOSERS in this game of life, in which corrupt politics elevates some and crushes others. It feels like we are always the ones crushed! Do you feel the same?). So we’re being kicked out during this treasonous economic housing crisis, with only 2 months to find a place and move out. Except there’s no place to go and all of them will charge us way more than the rental house is worth.
Husband’s job offer is in this area (so we do not want to move yet again to another new state), but he won’t start until after his June graduation and assuming he passes his licensing exam (he will, but the exam testing dates haven’t even been posted yet so we don’t know how long the wait time will be for taking it, getting results back, and then getting the start date). It will be only a few months though, so I tried to find a 6 month lease option to cut down on the horrible rental costs (no) and then asked if an exception could be made. No such luck.
Well, I guess I better say goodnight. Tomorrow will be a better day. I will then be positive and willing to share something better than this. But, I think it’s good to allow myself to be human, and show you that my hope doesn’t come from an easy life. I am not privileged or special. I’m just a person who is sometimes lucky, and often not. My hope comes from faith that tomorrow will be better, and is deeply rooted in a love of God, goodness, happiness, nature, creativity, humor, the collective empathy of the best of humanity (like you!) and my family. Hope doesn’t come from circumstances or lineage. It comes from within.
I’m feeling better already. It will all work out, even if temporarily- it doesn’t. The fruit of the Spirit doesn’t come from earthly prosperity or the easy road. It comes from a faithful life. Of course during times of extreme grief (which I’ve experienced and you probably have as well), we cannot expect ourselves to feel hope at all times. And that’s normal. But when the crisis is the type in which we still have our spouse and children, food on the table, and the expectation of a better future (like this housing situation I’m in), we can muster through another bad year.
God bless you and keep you, and may His face shine upon you, this day and always. And if you can spare a moment to pray that our family find the right housing, I’ll be grateful.
Yesterday’s post was bittersweet, looking back at the hobby farm life we lost. But our journey toward a new life, after almost a decade of working toward our goals- after selling nearly everything we had, moving five times- across three different states (up North, to Midwest, then finally to the Deep Coastal South) and even abroad (Ireland)- we are so near the end of this adventure. Hope is stirring within us that we may be able to buy a house within the next two years. HOME finally!
Last weekend we celebrated our anniversary with a nice dinner on the eve of our anniversary, and then on the actual date we drove to the area where we want to buy a house, about an hour’s drive from here. We daydreamed and imagined ourselves living there. Then we stopped by a gift store and looked for something special to remember the day by. Both of us saw this pretty little trinket at the same time. Our son had given me a similar cardinal gift for Christmas just a couple of months ago, so it seemed like this would make a nice addition. Well…
I didn’t know about this little message attached to the bluebird until after we already chose to buy it. Near the bottom of the card it says “Bless this home and family with love and happiness”. So we took that as a sign! Now the bluebird hangs in the center of the small house we’re renting, on a decorative tree that we keep up all year long with our family pictures, fairy lights and some other decor on it.
Whenever I look at our bluebird of happiness ornament, not only will I think back fondly of our anniversary, but I’ll be reminded to have faith that our hard work will pay off. After many years of uncertainty and temporary places, we’ll be HOME! And this hope gives me motivation to stay the course. Sometimes all it takes is one small thing to keep us going. When we look for that one small thing, we find it.
This world is uncertain and unstable, and perhaps your life is right now also. Whatever we’re waiting for, let us be expectant and confident that this season will pass, and one day the things we hope for will happen. God bless you and yours, this day and always.
Sheltering trees are places we can go when we need rest. “A shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain” – Isaiah 4:2-6 The Branch of the Lord
Small Print “Sheltering Tree”
All small prints are approximately 8 x 10. Giclee Somerset Velvet Fine Art paper. Free shipping. No frame.
$33.50
Medium Print “Sheltering Tree”
All medium prints are approximately 16 x 20. Giclee Somerset Velvet Fine Art paper. Free shipping. No frame.
$65.50
Large Print “Sheltering Tree”
All large prints are approximately 24 x 30. Giclee Somerset Velvet Fine Art paper. Free shipping. No frame.
$98.50
“This piece was inspired by seeing the beautiful religious art in the historic Cathedral of John the Baptist in Savannah, Georgia. The day we visited the Cathedral, there was a baby baptism being held, and I didn’t want to intrude, but I was able to survey the interior and it was breathtaking. The Cathedral is an important stop on a tourist’s map, but it is awe inspiring for locals as well, and the church is still very active in the community.
After seeing the stained glass windows in the cathedral, I wanted to create my own vision of Christian art, in my modern-day style of an artist living in 2019, while still honoring the traditional stories and history. I imagined Jesus as both precious lamb and sacrifice, and mighty warrior Lion… King. Sheltering the lamb in the storm, the King is merciful, kind, and loving.”
List of Oil Paintings in this Collection, linking to their pages here on the site, and also citing physical pages in the hardcover book:
