If we imagine life as a balanced landscape with fresh waters running through the center, mountains sheltering the skyline, trees neatly arranged on each side and rocks as a protective boundary, we may visualize balance. Balance organizes tall and short, up and down, high and low, dark and light, stillness and movement, realism and fantasy. When we are in balance, we are in various stages of harmony.
I could go on like this for hours. The point is, life is about extremes. We experience highs and optimal living, along with lows and hardships. A balanced attitude sees harmony and embraces life as a moving orchestra. Instead of pursuing perfection in the highs, or focusing disproportionately on the lows, an attitude of harmony is about acceptance of what “is”. The reality is that there are good days and bad days, and often our perception of bad or good changes by the hour or even by the minute. May we change what we can and accept what we cannot.
In our human journey there are extremes in our approach to life, like “wise” or “fool”. There are also extremes in what we mean by having a “good” day or a “bad” day. In times of crisis, tragedy, and loss, our pain may feel unbearable. On the contrary, the joy of falling in love, winning a hard fought achievement, or holding a new baby may make one forget all the pain. When we accept what is, it may be extremely good or extremely bad. Not every day is balanced in itself. It is our mind that must find the harmony in the bigger picture.
The totality of our lives is like an oil painting. Each blob of paint doesn’t look like much on its own. When isolated, it’s nothing but a splat of color. But when seen from a distance, all of the colors come together to form a picture. If we could see our lives from a distance, we may see how all of the good parts and the bad parts form a picture of who we are. And we are a masterpiece!
We may not always have a choice about what we experience, but we have free will for how we respond to it. We can choose to see bad events as part of a bigger picture. We can also choose to forgive those who wrong us. By “forgiveness” I do not mean offering a pardon to those who deserve justice. I mean the act of letting go of bitterness, lest it destroy us. Spiritual strength allows us to remain true to ourselves even if we have no other recourse left.
In our quest for balance, we must resist the tendency to see all situations as a sliding scale in which all things are made to seem equal. When we put all of the good things and the bad things on a see saw, it will balance itself. This may appear as if the good things and bad things are equal. No, they are not. They are simply arranged on the see saw in such a way as the weight of each is evenly distributed. But if we take an extreme of one side and pair it with a weakness of the other, the see saw will flip erratically, with one side down and the other side up.
We must also consider this paradox: while one strong element can flip a weak element, there is no such thing as a little bit of evil or a little bit of good. Good and evil are extremes. One small act of goodness has a lot of power, and can lead to bigger acts of goodness. The same is true for one small act of wickedness. One lie begets another. One resentful thought emboldens another. An act of malice from one, invites the hatred of many. It is not extreme to see the truth of this. Choosing wisdom over foolishness is a valid, honorable decision.
In a misguided effort to avoid extremes (or by intention to mislead others), some may not recognize that extremes exist, or may mislabel what is extreme, or may rationalize extremes to equalize all situations as the same. This is simply not true. The harmony in an orchestra is not found by making all instruments sound the same, but by hearing them all together. If one musician blares a sour note, it will indeed ruin the piece. No conductor would find this acceptable.
We cannot make life feel acceptable by accepting the unacceptable, or by pretending that a sour note doesn’t ruin the music. Life will forever be a paradox. It is good AND it is bad. In the big picture, we may see how it all comes together, or we may never know. We enjoy our days more when we accept what is, and live in hope that the good will outnumber the bad.
As we approach another new week, may we find satisfaction in our days, be happy, and do good. May we enjoy good food, good weather, and good people. Everything is beautiful in its time.