Tag: changing careers

Tybee Island GA

Coastal Again!

I’m Coastal Again! WOOT!

I know, this blog post is coming to you out of nowhere, after a long absence. I couldn’t find the words to describe all of the miserable things that were happening to us. Besides, most of it isn’t wise to post on the Internet.

Evansville, Indiana didn’t like us. After that city was through chewing us up, the feeling was mutual.To say that things didn’t work out would be a vast understatement. But let’s just focus on what’s most important.

Teaching wasn’t the right career for Brent. I won’t get into the reasons why, but it was clear that this wasn’t the life that any of us wanted. So, even though he’d put years into going back to school for his masters degree, a semester of unpaid student teaching, and so much more… well, it was best to cut our losses and move on.

Meanwhile, Brent’s part time job at CVS led him to his new career. He had become a licensed Pharmacy Tech, and was recently offered a slightly better position as a Shift Supervisor Rx. We’d be moving again, but to somewhere special! Before I get to that: There’s a college nearby where he can go back to school—yes, again!—to become a PHARMACIST! This direction makes sense. Brent has always been a scientist type. I thought he’d be teaching middle school science, which seemed to fit, but one thing led to another and he ended up in primary school, hmmm. Anyway, life feels very much back on track now. WHEW! That was quite a detour! (and pharmacy pays much, much better than teaching, WOOT!)

The Pharmacist plan does mean more “starving student” years ahead as Brent goes to school for his Pharmacy D, and he’ll have to do an unpaid internship at the end (UGH!). Pressure is on to rev up my career as an artist and an author. Please share my work with your family and friends. Don’t be afraid to help me in any way that you can think of. If you have extra dollars, you can buy my books for your local library, school, dentist office, etc. Well, there’s that promo out of the way. Now… back to our big news:

WE’VE MOVED TO GEORGIA!

My father visited Savannah, GA on his assignments with the Air National Guard. He brought me a beautiful sand dollar. He had another one that he cracked open to show me the “doves” inside. He told me the story of the sand dollar and said that Savannah is a special place that I should go to one day. I never thought much of it. The ocean was something I’d only seen once, when I visited my aunt in North Carolina. It just wasn’t my world, although my heart longed for it to be.

Well, before the Ireland dream, we’d hoped to move to Savannah, but when we lost our health insurance and had a whole host of other miserable set backs, we chose Ireland instead. I worked for four years to raise the money to move to Ireland. And, if you’ve been following my story, you know that we could only stay for five months (visa issues). But… it was a life changing adventure and our family will never be the same. My dream of seeing a dolphin in the wild came true, and I have the beautiful dolphin figurine from Dingle to remind me of it. It’s sitting in my mom’s hutch right now.

Back to my story… here we are, about ten years after we first decided to make a big life change. After moving from Minnesota to Wisconsin, to Ireland and Indiana… we are now back to our original wish, the one that we thought we couldn’t have: a move to coastal Georgia, in the Savannah area.

After Ireland, big dreams were over. Indiana was back in the Midwest, we’d lived there while growing up, and we knew people. It made sense… until it all went wrong. There were times when I looked at my beautiful dolphin figurine and I’d struggle not to cry. I knew if I let one tear loose I’d sob for hours, days even. (a bit of an exaggeration there)

Well…. did you know that Savannah has easy access to places like Tybee Island and there are dolphins there? Did you further know that I already have good news to share about my new author/artist connections? And did you also know that I’m typing this from my new house right now?

Ireland proved anything was possible, and Indiana proved that failure isn’t the end of the world. Why fear it? It was time to dream again! I’d have a fabulous life as a coastal author and artist. I will! I am!

OK, OK, time for me to stop talking and show you the pictures!

 

On the Market!

Home for sale icon

Our house has a new addition to the front yard, a “FOR SALE” sign. My feelings about this are all over the map. So much has happened over the past few weeks. Where do I begin?

Well, I guess it all goes back to about seven years ago, when the company that my husband Brent works for was laying people off. There were multiple buy-outs, pay-cuts, and of course the dreaded downsizing, downsizing, downsizing. The writing was on the wall. There was no future for Brent at that company. He had dodged several rounds of lay-offs, but pay cuts and salary freezes had squeezed us beyond return. We had to make tough decisions before things went from bad to worse.

We sold the hobby farm that we had worked so hard to build. We sold the animals, our personal property, and eventually the house. I especially mourned the loss of my beautiful downstairs studio space where I had taught not only my own children, but dozens of students as well. Brent had installed the flooring himself and had handcrafted the wooden dance barres. He’d put in cabinets and a sink. It was the perfect space for art, dance, theater, and more. We had done everything on a shoestring budget, but we still owed too much money.

I was never going to make enough income from teaching Ladybug Arts for the financial investment to pay off, but the investment I was making was in people, not money. There are more important things than money, right? I believed that everything would work out, right up until the day when I realized that it wouldn’t.

I ended Ladybug Arts prior to putting the house on the market, for many reasons. But the decision was quickly validated when my mom’s health took a sudden sharp decline. I became her caregiver, while also preparing to sell the hobby farm. My heart was numb. Everything was ending all at once.

Mom was dying. My job was gone. My firstborn was leaving for college. There was no time to process what was happening. From there, the hardships snowballed. Mom passed away in August. Our daughter started school in September. We sold our house in October. The smell of fall leaves and the hauntingly beautiful breeze that carries the colors away take me back to that time. Colors change, then fade, then die.

Never again would I see my kids bouncing down the halls, riding their bicycles on the long gravel driveway, or running with the miniature sheep in the pasture. All of it was gone, including the kids. They weren’t little anymore. None of them would “bounce” down a hall with their wispy hair flying in the breeze. Clomping, shuffling, or bounding–that they could do. No, we didn’t have Santa Claus believers or Tooth Fairy wishers in our family anymore. Life was changing, whether I liked it or not.

We moved into a small house in a town about an hour away from our hobby farm. Here, where we are now. The treeless leaves were soon snow-covered. And after a long winter, spring came. The trees were green and full of life again. Yes, they were different trees, in a different place, but life began again.

It’s pleasant here. The neighborhood is pretty and nearly perfect. It’s a nice place to live. But it’s not our place. Four years after moving in, the house is on the market.

During our four years here, Brent went back to school. He received his graduate degree in Education last month, May 2015. He has one final semester before getting his teaching certification, the student teaching semester. Teaching full time without pay, while also paying tuition? He has to quit his day job? Isn’t there some other way? No, there’s not. He worked too hard to get this far only to give up now. Things at his current job aren’t improving. He had no luck getting a new job in his field. It was definitely the smart play to go back to school and start a new career. But at least he still had his job…

And then we found out that after years of crying wolf, the wolf was finally actually undeniably at our door. Brent was told that his position will be eliminated in August. He is getting laid off. Well, there goes the safety net! This student teaching semester was going to happen, whether we had cold feet or not. At least he’ll be able to draw unemployment benefits, for a while anyway. Looking at the positive was what we tried to do, but nothing can take the fear away completely. Brent has had a job since he was a teenager. He had never been laid off. He had never been unemployed. He had always, always worked.

And I had always, always, been underemployed. My primary focus was on my family. I built my artistic career around our lifestyle. My husband’s job always came first, the kids next, and my job was dead last. Jump-starting my career was what I’d attempted to do ever since my oldest went off to college. I’ve made progress, but not enough progress. Here we are again, needing to sell our house.

We’ll rent something cheaper than our mortgage until Brent’s student teaching semester ends. Then, he’ll be certified to teach and our plans are to move to Ireland against all odds. We still have those nonrefundable plane tickets that we’d bought with money raised from my side job as a garage sale maven. Oh yes, we’re doing this thing.

So, the house is on the market. The pain and loss from selling our hobby farm, and everything that meant, is complicating my feelings toward selling our house in Pleasantville (not the real name of the town, I’m being facetious). I never wanted this pleasant house in this pleasant neighborhood. I wanted MY house, the one we raised our kids in. I wanted that life back, but the past isn’t mine to have, except in my memories.

The past is safer, because it is over. I know how the story ends. The future is scary. Who knows what hardships and disappointments lie ahead! What if there is grief lurking around the corner, a sorrow that runs deeper than losing my parents, a heartache more profound than I can imagine?

But what if there’s something wonderful ahead? What if the future sparkles brighter than I could ever imagine? And what if my hope in the future is a self fulfilling prophesy?

Some things in life are beyond my control, but I can always choose my attitude toward what is happening to me. I can choose to be grateful for the past, hopeful toward the the future, and content with the present.

Today, this moment, is all I’m guaranteed. And at this moment, I hear my children’s voices in the kitchen. They’re laughing. They’re  happy that it’s Friday and that there are molasses cookies on the counter. The house is on the market. But this moment,  spent in a pleasant house with my kids’ laughter in my ears, this moment is not for sale.